While 2017 was filled with so much uncertainty, there’s one thing we could really depend on: Floridians would generate some of the whackiest news stories of this (and every) year. Rest assured, “Florida Man” and his ever-dependable counterpart “Florida Woman” didn’t let us down.
Sachs Media Group has compiled our list of the year’s top 10 news articles detailing this baffling duo’s misadventures. Each story is accompanied by an original illustration by our renowned cartoonist friend, Bill Day.
It seems election season is never really over, so we invite your vote on the best “Florida Man/Florida Woman” story. Cast your vote today, and be sure to visit the linked news websites to learn more about each story.
1. Florida man’s emotional support squirrel could get him evicted, but he won’t live without her
After appealing to the state’s Office of Human Rights, this Florida Man won’t let anything come between him and his sweet squirrel, Brutis. Not even eviction. Some say it’s “love;” others say he’s nuts. Read more about this story on TampaBay.com.
2. Florida man’s pants erupt in flames during arson trial in court
Talk about an incendiary legal argument … This Florida lawyer took his closing remarks very seriously. When arguing that his client’s car spontaneously combusted, so did the lawyer’s pants. That’s one way to enflame the jury. Read more about this story on MiamiHerald.com
3. Florida man driving lawnmower runs stop sign, hits car, and flees the scene
After having his license suspended, this Florida man decided his new mode of transportation should be a lawnmower – but his actions made him a “law mower.” If not for the crash, the police chase might have been the most entertaining one of the year. Read more about this story on TC-Palm.com.
4. Florida woman smears bananas on cars outside of Trump’s club
This Florida woman went bananas outside President Trump’s private Mar-a-Lago Club when she started smearing the yellow fruit on guests’ cars. Apparently, she was peeling very angry. Read more about this story on ApNews.com.
5. Florida woman twerks on car roof while speeding down highway
This Florida woman took spring break to the next level, thrusting her hips on the top of her car as it sped down the highway in Miami Beach. Other drivers got all twerked up about it. Read more about this story on MiamiNewTimes.com.
6. Florida woman arrested shoplifting while dressed in turkey costume
This Florida woman gobbled up over $1,000 in merchandise while trotting through Belk dressed as a turkey. She clearly ran a fowl of the store’s shoplifting policies. Read more about this story on Sun-Sentinel.com.
7. Florida man arrested after stopping traffic to eat pancakes in the middle of the street
This hungry Florida man found himself in a sticky situation after disrupting the flow of traffic to have a pancake breakfast. That caused quite a flap, Jack. Read more about this story on OrlandoSentinel.com.
8. Florida man tells police he was shooting at rats after 8-hour standoff
This trigger-happy Florida man took a simple rat trap to the next level, attempting to shoot rats in his home with his rifle. Maybe the rat race just got to be too much for him. Read more about this story on CBSMiami.com.
9. Florida woman bites husband after he changes password to her computer
After her husband changed the password to her computer, this Florida woman bit off a little more than she could chew when she chomped down on her spouse’s head. There’s bits and bytes, and then there’s bites … Read more about this story on PalmBayDaily.com.
10. Florida man puts conference call on hold to chase bear out of house
We’ve all had to deal with unforeseen distractions while on a conference call, but this one is bearly believable! This Florida man had to chase a bear out of his home before continuing with normal business. Read more about this story on PalmBeachPost.com.